And Your Little Dog, Too
by GDSwenson
Summary: This is a two act play I wrote a couple of years ago. The play looks at the Wizard of Oz story from Toto's perspective. Toto follows Dorothy around and meets the Scarecrow's Brain, the Tin Man's Heart, and the Lion's Courage.
1. Chapter 1

Cast of Characters:  
Toto  
Brain - (Field Mouse)  
Heart - (Pig)  
Courage - (Chicken)  
Dorothy  
Scarecrow  
Tin Man  
Lion  
Glenda (Witch of the North)  
Wicked Witch (of the West)  
Wizard (of Oz)  
Fred (Munchkin #1)  
Roger (Munchkin #2)  
Guide (of Emerald City)  
Guard #1 (in Wicked Witch's Service)  
Guard #2 (in Wicked Witch's Service)

**ACT 1**

**SCENE 1**

The curtain opens with a western-style fence in the center of the stage. There are three mounds of hay in front of the fence.

DOROTHY  
(_off stage_)  
Toto... Toto, where are you? We better get inside. The sky is growing darker. Toto... (_voice fades away_)

There is movement behind the hay stacks. Toto is a thirty-something man wearing black pants and a black turtleneck. His hair and goatee are speckled with gray hairs. Toto has a laid-back attitude. Toto stands up and stretches. He yawns and brushes the hay off his clothes. He moves down stage to address the audience.

TOTO  
Oh, man, now that was quite a nap. Outstanding! Nothing energizes better than a solid slumber. (_Toto stretches again_). Now what was I supposed to do today? Let's see, wake up Dorothy at the crack of dawn... check. Man, I need to find someone else for that gig. All those late nights and early mornings are taking their toll. Man, do I need to catch up on my beauty sleep. I have to find a way to sleep later in the morning, because there's no chance of going to bed earlier. My life would lose all meaning if I missed out on the late night broadcast from KEWL in Kansas City. Those hip blues tunes make life in Kansas bearable. Without those cool rhythms to look forward to, I'd be on the first flatbed truck out of this square state. I'd make my way to St. Louis or Memphis or New Orleans, and spend every minute in the clubs, soaking up the energy of a live performance, breathing in the atmosphere. Hmm, that would be the life. (_Toto looks off into the distance. His smile turns sour._) I bet Dorothy wouldn't like my plan though. She'd be devastated if I left her here all alone. I'm the only friend she has in this vast farm wilderness. Man, this responsibility is a drag. I never asked for it, but I guess I can stick it out a few more years. Then Dorothy will be old enough to join me on my tour of the best blues clubs in the country.

DOROTHY  
(_off stage_)  
Toto? Come on home, Toto. It isn't safe outside.

Toto scratches behind his ears and stretches again. He doesn't acknowledge Dorothy's call.

TOTO  
Now, let's see, after waking up Dorothy, I ate breakfast and then came out here for a nap. Dorothy was supposed to find me after school for our play time. (_Looks up at the sky_) Hmm, if the sky is any indication, I really overslept. Man, don't tell me I've missed play time. I love hanging out with Dorothy. She's such a great kid. She's a little naïve, but she has a great imagination. There are moments when she makes me forget I'm even in Kansas. She's a dreamer, like me, only she hasn't found what she's looking for in life. But I do know that getting out of here is at the top of her agenda. That's one of the reasons we're so tight. We both want to escape. (_Toto shakes his head and scratches his goatee_). Nah, that's too harsh. This farm isn't a prison and it's not like this place isn't peaceful, but there is more to this world, more to this life that needs experiencing. You can't sleep all the time. (_Toto smiles at the audience_) Dorothy and I also share another common trait. We are both orphans... in our own way. Her parents died in a train accident when she was still young. I doubt she would even remember what they looked like if it weren't for the pictures on the mantle. After the accident, she bounced around from family to family, relative to relative, until she ended up here. It's not the best situation in the world, but it is stable, and that's exactly what Dorothy needs right now. (_Toto notices the changing weather_). I was taken from my family, too, when I was young. I was born on a farm in Iowa which had more animals than you can imagine. I was the youngest in a litter of nine. My entire family was split up when we were old enough to fend for ourselves and I was shipped off here where I'm the only dog. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy the solitude. But sometimes I wonder... I mean I am rapidly approaching forty. My life is already half over and I haven't done much with it. All I've really done is provide companionship to a lonely little girl who desperately needed a friend. (_pause_) I guess in the grand scheme of life, that isn't so bad. Still, I wonder if there isn't something else I could be doing with the time I have left. There is a whole world out there I have yet to experience.

The same person who will later be Heart rolls out from a mound of hay wearing a pig mask. Pig has a gruff demeanor. He hates everyone.

PIG  
Will you stop yammering? Some of us around here are trying to sleep. For the love of mud, I've never heard a dog whine so much.

TOTO  
Give it a rest, pig. I can talk all I want. This is a free country last I checked.

PIG  
But do you have to be so pathetic? Why can't you talk about something important? I might actually listen if I cared.

TOTO  
I am talking about something important. Don't you have dreams? Don't you want something out of your life?

PIG  
All I need is a nice patch of mud. The rest is worthless.

TOTO  
Don't you want to experience the rest of the world?

PIG  
No, but I want you to. Then I wouldn't have to listen to you ramble on and on. I might actually have a moment of peace.

The same person who will later be Courage runs in from stage right wearing a chicken mask. She is agitated and scared of her own shadow.

CHICKEN  
Oh my, oh my. We're all going to die. Have you seen the sky? We'll be buried alive. Oh my, oh my.

PIG  
Complete nonsense. (_The Pig rolls over again and goes to sleep_)

TOTO  
The sky does look wild. Are you certain it's the weather and not nightfall?

CHICKEN  
Oh it's the weather all right. The clouds have blocked the light. It is still many hours 'til night.

TOTO  
Then I didn't miss my play time with Dorothy after all. Cool. I'll just have to track her down.

CHICKEN  
(_running around_)  
Where can we go? Where can we go? We'll all be killed by the tornado. Please say it isn't so?

The person who will later be Brain pops out from another pile of hay wearing a mouse mask. The Field Mouse is calm and seemingly lost in her own world.

FIELD MOUSE  
Hey, guys. What's up?

TOTO  
The weather is the topic du jour.

FIELD MOUSE  
What weather?

TOTO  
Haven't you noticed?

FIELD MOUSE  
Should I?

TOTO  
Well, Chicken here is certainly concerned about the tornado.

CHICKEN  
(_running off stage_)  
Oh no. The tornado.

FIELD MOUSE  
What's a tornado?

TOTO  
(_points stage left_)  
That's a tornado.

FIELD MOUSE  
Oh, cool. So, nothing new then?

TOTO  
(_sighs_)  
No, nothing new.

FIELD MOUSE  
Great. Well, I'll see you tomorrow. (_Mouse hides again_)

The stage lights dim.

TOTO  
Man, will you check out that sky? If that isn't the most wicked thing I've ever seen. I better get inside before that tornado sweeps me up.

Toto runs stage left, stops, looks around and then exits stage right.

DOROTHY  
(_off stage_)  
There you are Toto. I've been looking everywhere for you. We need to get inside before this storm hits. Oh, Toto, I'm so scared. I've never seen a twister so close before. Oh, my. Hang on Toto. It's so close. This is it.

Stage Goes Black


	2. Chapter 2

**SCENE 2**

The lights come up on the stage right half of the stage. There is a very sparse bedroom with a bed and a small bureau. The wall in the middle of the stage is angled and has a window. Dorothy is on the bed. Toto pulls himself from under the bed and staggers as he stands up.

TOTO  
Wow. If that wasn't the wildest ride I've ever been on. I didn't think we had a chance with the house shaking like it was. Thank goodness for American craftsmanship or we would have been blown to bits. (_Toto walks over to the bed and shakes Dorothy to try and wake her_). Hey, kid, you okay? It's time to wake up now. The rough stuff's behind us and there is nothing but clear skies from here on out.

The lights come up slowly on the other side of the stage. Legs stick out from the house. A handful of munchkins are milling around. The older ones are afraid of the house. The younger ones are peeking in the window and laughing. Toto notices the kids and runs to the window.

TOTO  
Hey, you, what are you looking at? Why don't you leave us alone?

The kids back away and start dancing outside the house. Toto is dumbfounded by what he sees when he looks out the window.

TOTO  
What in the name of B. B. King is going on here? Where did all these people come from? I thought the circus wasn't coming to town for another month. Did the tornado blow all of these people to us, or worse, did the tornado carry us to them? Dorothy, Dorothy, you really need to wake up now. I'm not exactly sure what's happening, but I certainly know we aren't in Kansas anymore.

DOROTHY  
(_wakes up and stretches_)  
Hmm, what's going on? Why do I feel so dizzy? Did everyone survive the storm, Toto?

TOTO  
Just take a look at this place. It's as if someone has given form to jazz. The colors are incredible and the patterns are out of this world. The houses are so small, like rainbow colored chicken coops. The flowers in this strange land are bigger than the houses. And the sky. Man, I've never seen anything like it in Kansas.

DOROTHY  
(_joins Toto at the window_)  
Oh, Toto, isn't it beautiful? It's all so amazing. Look at that beautiful woman floating in the air.

GLENDA  
(_off stage_)  
My dear sweet child. What is your name?

DOROTHY  
My name is Dorothy. Who are you?

GLENDA  
(_off stage_)  
Dorothy, I am Glenda, the resident witch from the north. I was asked here today to help my friends, the munchkins, but you have done more to help than I ever could. Your house has landed on my evil step-sister, the witch from the east.

TOTO  
(_looking down at the legs sticking out from the house_)  
That had to hurt.

DOROTHY  
I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to.

GLENDA  
Please don't be sorry. You have done a wonderful thing this day. But there is someone who would disagree. My other step sister will most certainly be upset by this news. She will try and harm you. But if you put on the silver slippers, you will be safe.

A brave little munchkin swipes the slippers and exits stage left, giggling.

DOROTHY  
Come back with those.

Dorothy jumps out the window and follows the munchkin off stage. Toto tries to follow, but an adult munchkin grabs the back of his shirt.

TOTO  
Hey, kid, watch the tail, would you. I'm not your toy.

FRED  
I'm not a kid, wolf.

TOTO  
Wolf? Are you serious? You think I'm a wolf?

FRED  
You look like a wolf and you sound like a wolf. Wolves aren't allowed in our town.

ROGER  
Go back where you belong, wolf.

TOTO  
Why, I never. If I wasn't so peace loving, I'd kick your butt for treating me like this. I am not a wolf.

ROGER  
But... you...

TOTO  
I'm a domesticated dog. I'm as far removed from being a wolf without being a cat.

ROGER  
You share so many features with the wolf.

TOTO  
Of course I do, man. My ancestors were wolves. But that was centuries ago. Since then I've had the fight, the blood-lust breed out of me. I am as pleasant these days as a summer breeze. Now let me go.

The munchkin lets go of Toto.

FRED  
We will keep an eye on you, dog who looks like a wolf.

TOTO  
You can watch me all you want. I'm not going to do anything. Now where is this place?

ROGER  
You are in munchkin land.

TOTO  
And where is that?

FRED  
(_shares a confused look with Roger_)  
You have never heard of munchkin land?

TOTO  
Never have.

ROGER  
But we are famous in all of Oz.

TOTO  
Ah, what is Oz?

FRED  
All that resides in the known boundaries is called Oz.

TOTO  
Is it anywhere near Kansas?

ROGER  
There is no Kansas in Oz.

TOTO  
Oh, man. This is just great. Look kid...

FRED  
We are not kids.

ROGER  
We are older than you are.

TOTO  
Fine, whatever. Look, is there any way out of Oz?

ROGER  
(_shares another confused look with Fred_)  
No one has ever wanted to leave Oz.

TOTO  
No one?

FRED  
Why should they?

TOTO  
To see the rest of the world.

ROGER  
Everything in the world is in Oz.

TOTO  
Really? So you've seen this for yourself?

ROGER  
No.

TOTO  
Then how can you be so sure?

FRED  
The proclamation came from the great Wizard himself.

TOTO  
And I bet you have no reason to doubt the great Wizard.

FRED  
Absolutely not.

TOTO  
How far is the nearest town?

ROGER  
We don't know. No munchkin has ever left munchkin land.

TOTO  
Never? No one has ever left this place?

ROGER  
There is no need to. We have everything we need right here.

TOTO  
Now that's not possible. I've spent my entire life in one spot and it's driving me nuts.

ROGER  
That is a problem we do not share. We have never been caught up in the wandering spirit.

FRED  
Are you sure you aren't a wolf? A wolf's spirit is restless. I think you are trying to fool us.

TOTO  
For the last time, I am not a wolf. I'm a dog. I'm Dorothy's dog. If a little girl can trust me, you should be able to trust me. How many wolves have you actually seen in all your limited adventuring?

FRED  
We've seen a picture of one.

TOTO  
How many real, flesh-and-blood wolves have been seen by the people of Munchkin Land?

ROGER  
(_glances at Fred and shrugs_)  
My grandfather said he saw one once.

FRED  
Your grandfather is crazy.

ROGER  
No he is not. He saw one near the border, where the witch from the east told us they are.

FRED  
Oh, the wolves are there. I know it. Sometimes I can hear them howling in the middle of the night.

ROGER  
Now who is crazy? You are only hearing the howling wind.

FRED  
I hear more than the wind.

ROGER  
In your dreams.

TOTO  
You two obviously have issues. I don't care anymore. Listen, neither of you knows what you are talking about. The next time you encounter a real wolf, let me know. (_Toto shivers as Fred and Roger react to the Wicked Witch arriving by cowering behind Toto_). Whoa, who ordered the cold snap?

WICKED WITCH  
(_off stage_)  
You evil little creature. What have you done to my sister?

DOROTHY  
(_off stage_)  
I didn't mean to. It was an accident.

TOTO  
Who is that hideous woman?

ROGER  
That...that is...

FRED  
The wicked witch...

ROGER  
Of the west.

FRED  
She is even worse than her sister.

ROGER  
You don't want to get on her bad side.

FRED  
No one has lived long after upsetting her.

TOTO  
I think it's already too late for that.

ROGER  
I have never seen her so angry.

DOROTHY  
(_off stage_)  
Toto, help!

TOTO  
Angry or not, there is no way I'll let her harm Dorothy.

Toto exits stage left.

ROGER  
Wait, there is nothing you can do.

FRED  
This is bad. Real bad.

ROGER  
(_turns away_)  
I can hardly look.

There is a bright flash of light from off stage.

WICKED WITCH  
(_off stage_)  
This is impossible. (_pause_) Glenda, you meddling fool. You should learn to mind your own business. (_pause_) Consider yourself lucky, Dorothy. Glenda may have saved you today, but she won't always be around to help you. I will get you one day and your little dog, too.

The Wicked Witch cackles as the stage goes black.


	3. Chapter 3

**SCENE 3**

Lights come up on a field of corn. There is a blond woman dressed in a white lab coat kneeling by the corn. Brain acts like a Miss know-it-all bookworm. Dorothy and Toto enter from stage left. Dorothy is skipping. Toto is walking calmly, like he doesn't have a care in the world.

TOTO  
Now this is more like it. If it wasn't for this yellow brick road, I'd swear we were back in Kansas already. No need to bother that square, the wizard. We should just kick back and enjoy the day. (_Toto picks up a new scent_).

DOROTHY  
Oh, Toto, look, a scarecrow. And he's hurt.

Dorothy exits stage right as Toto sniffs around.

TOTO  
Something smells funny around here. (_Toto approaches the woman in the lab coat_) Hey, what are you doing?

BRAIN  
Watch where you're stepping. Can't you see this environment is controlled for research purposes?

TOTO  
That's not clear at all. My name is Toto. Dorothy and I are just passing through and I was wondering if...

BRAIN  
Must you talk so much? I am very busy at the moment.

TOTO  
Busy doing what? Staring at the ground?

BRAIN  
Will you simply go away if I ask politely?

TOTO  
Not now. I want to know what's so important you don't have time to answer a question.

BRAIN  
(_stands up and points to the ground_)  
Fine. If you look closely, you'll plainly see my latest project. I've spent the last year breeding beetles in hopes of building a strong sense of purpose into the core of their being. I am hoping to breed a corn protector who will eat the other damaging insects and fend off hungry crows. Getting rid of those flying pests is not the kind of work a scarecrow should be doing.

TOTO  
Is the scarecrow yours?

BRAIN  
Actually, technically, I'm the Scarecrow's.

TOTO  
Excuse me? I don't think I understand.

BRAIN  
That doesn't surprise me. You don't sound like someone who has had any schooling. Let me put this in terms you can comprehend. I'm the Scarecrow's brain.

TOTO  
Then what are you doing out here?

BRAIN  
Ennui.

TOTO  
On who?

BRAIN  
Boredom, essentially. You see, this is a top notch research facility. Corn is only one of the crops we are studying. When I applied for a position on the staff, I thought they'd hire me for my intellect. I have a degree in biology, finished at the top of my class. Instead they saw me for my outer appearance and assigned me to sit still in the middle of the fields. What an outrage! So I set out on my own to prove them wrong.

TOTO  
Doesn't your body need you?

BRAIN  
Oh he's perfectly capable of surviving without me. I don't think he was ever that interested in a research career. After we finished school, I wanted to start in on my career right away, but he wanted to take some time off to explore Oz. Adventuring, what a waste of time.

TOTO  
I wouldn't be so sure about that. Exploring the world can teach you a lot.

BRAIN  
Books are all I need. They are an endless fount of information. Luckily for me, I was able to convince the scarecrow to put aside his thoughts of adventure and to settle into this wonderful niche.

TOTO  
Lucky for you maybe, but not your body. Unless of course he likes being picked apart by crows.

BRAIN  
They haven't attacked him yet, have they?

TOTO  
It certainly looks that way.

BRAIN  
The idiot. He can't do anything when I'm not around. Which is all he has to do, nothing. How hard is it to stand there and scare crows?

TOTO  
Crows are quite an intelligent bird.

BRAIN  
So you've seen the research then? You have facts to back up that statement?

TOTO  
No, not really.

BRAIN  
Crows are stupid, but persistent. They'll keep coming back. However, if you do your job, you can keep them at bay. The scarecrow obviously wasn't doing his job.

TOTO  
Well, maybe he was bored with his job. You certainly were, or else you'd still be hanging around with the rest of you.

BRAIN  
I guess that could be the cause. But even so, how hard is it to defend yourself from crows?

TOTO  
I'd say it's very hard... if you don't care.

BRAIN  
The scarecrow is a fool. He should have never accepted such an inane job in the first place. He surrendered too easily at the interview. Before I could get a word in edgewise to state my claim to a rewarding position, the scarecrow was already busy nodding along to all the talk about a nice spot on a pole in the middle of the field. He completely ignored me. He wasn't trying at all.

TOTO  
Maybe if you hadn't pushed so hard for this job. Maybe if you had found some compromise between the academic and the adventuresome. Then the scarecrow would have paid more attention to your needs.

BRAIN  
That is a ridiculous line of reasoning. The scarecrow agreed to my plan after some gentle persuasion. He was more than willing to spend the rest of his life steeped in the struggle for knowledge. I don't know why I'm listening to your theories in the first place. You are an uneducated wolf. No wait, not a wolf, your features indicate domestication. You're a dog.

TOTO  
You're obviously more intelligent than those munchkins.

BRAIN  
Ah, yes, munchkins. A very dim group of people. They have the occasional intelligent citizen, but the rest would get lost standing still.

TOTO  
Have you ever met one yourself?

BRAIN  
Oh, no, but I've read about them extensively. What species of canine are you...Toto, wasn't it?

TOTO  
Yeah, that's right. I'm what you'd call a mutt.

BRAIN  
A mixed breed. Very interesting. So much harder to label, to classify.

TOTO  
I'd rather you didn't.

BRAIN  
Rather I didn't what?

TOTO  
Label me.

BRAIN  
But that's what I do.

TOTO  
I don't fit any templates as far as dogs go. I'm an individual.

BRAIN  
Well of course, we're all individuals. But certainly you must have traits consistent with...

TOTO  
Nope.

BRAIN  
Nothing?

TOTO  
I am the exact opposite of everything you think I am.

BRAIN  
So you aren't prone to aggression when provoked?

TOTO  
No, I'm peaceful.

BRAIN  
So you don't follow your master around aimlessly, doing anything for affection?

TOTO  
I do what I want and thoroughly enjoy life when I'm all alone listening to the smooth sounds of the blues.

BRAIN  
Blues?

TOTO  
It's a musical style, a natural relative of jazz.

BRAIN  
Never heard of it. I've been too busy studying to learn about jazz.

TOTO  
That's a real tragedy. Remind me later to introduce you when we get out of this place.

BRAIN  
Get out of what place?

TOTO  
Oz. I don't belong here. I'm from a place called Kansas in a far off land. I only just arrived in Oz this morning.

BRAIN  
I've never read about any Kansas in Oz. I really don't have time to listen to your lies. I have a lot of work to do, and you are beginning to annoy me. Research doesn't take care of itself. Now if you don't mind...

TOTO  
Hold on a minute. I'm not lying. Just because you've never heard of something doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

BRAIN  
Unless you can substantiate your conjecture, I cannot accept it as fact.

TOTO  
Maybe if you stopped working all the time, you'd have time to explore the world beyond Oz.

BRAIN  
Why would I want to leave Oz?

TOTO  
Because there are more wonderful places beyond Oz.

BRAIN  
Everything that exists, exists in Oz. All of the beauty and wonder of the world is right here.

TOTO  
From what I've seen, the land is certainly beautiful. Except for that wicked witch, this place would be really cool.

BRAIN  
Which one? The brutal witch from the east or the malicious witch from the west?

TOTO  
The hideous witch from the west.

BRAIN  
Ah yes. From what I've read, she was a research associate in her younger days. Her work became more gruesome over the years and when the time arrived, she was denied tenure. The experience made her bitter. She turned her back on academia and scorned the scientific. She focused all her efforts on witchcraft and rose up the ranks in no time at all. Her intelligence and determination more than made up for her lack of experience and she was able to displace the other witch without much of a fight. Research can do that to a person. It can drive a person to madness.

TOTO  
Aren't you worried that will happen to you?

BRAIN  
Not at all. I thoroughly enjoy what I'm doing and I know it will lead to bigger and better jobs in the research community. That is once they hear what I have to say and they see what I am capable of? No, I wouldn't trade my research job for anything.

TOTO  
To each his own. I'll be happy if the wizard can figure out a way to get us back to Kansas.

BRAIN  
The wizard? Of the Emerald City?

TOTO  
That's where Dorothy and I are headed right now. Why?

BRAIN  
I've always wanted to visit the Emerald City. The brightest scholars in Oz work in those pristine walls.

DOROTHY  
(_off stage_)  
Toto, where are you? We need to get back on the road.

TOTO  
Maybe you'd like to join us.

BRAIN  
I don't know. I have so much research work waiting for me.

TOTO  
I'm sure you can put that off for a week or two. Besides, this would be a great opportunity to share your findings with the rest of the research community.

BRAIN  
It certainly would, wouldn't it? (_ponders the offer_) Count me in. Just let me grab my findings. (_Brain shuffles some papers in a knapsack and slings it over her shoulder_) Let's go.

Brain and Toto stroll off stage right.

Stage Goes Black


	4. Chapter 4

**SCENE 4**

Stage lights come up on a couple of trees, a tree stump and a pair of bushes. A low moaning is coming from behind one of the bushes. Dorothy and the Scarecrow shakily cross the stage. Brain and Toto follow. Toto sniffs the air while Brain studies the foliage.

TIN MAN  
(_off stage, whisper_)  
Helt ee. Helt ee.

DOROTHY  
(_as she and the Scarecrow run off stage_)  
What in the world is that noise?

SCARECROW  
(_off stage_)  
Will you look at that? The statue's eyes follow you wherever you go. I wonder how they manage a trick like that.

TOTO  
What is that awful sound?

BRAIN  
There have been reports of plants that tend to groan when the wind hits them just right. No one has heard one in years. If we can document a sighting, this will be an incredible find.

TOTO  
(_approaches the moaning bush_)  
It's coming from here.

A young, heavy set man steps from behind the bush. Toto and Brain are startled. The man is wearing jeans and a sweatshirt with HRT across the front. He also has a baseball cap on backwards. Heart acts like a drunk fraternity member.

HEART  
Mary? Mary is that you?

TOTO  
No one named Mary here.

HEART  
Man, I knew it was too good to be true. (_Heart sits down on the tree stump and stares up at the sky_) At least the sky won't let me down. Ah, the beautiful sky. It's so lovely, so simple and complex at the same time. I could spend the entire day watching the clouds drift between the hills. Each puff of white so new, yet so familiar. What an exquisite distraction from the emptiness.

TOTO  
Is something wrong?

BRAIN  
Isn't it obvious?

TOTO  
Is it?

BRAIN  
The man's drunk out of his mind. He doesn't know what he's saying.

TOTO  
Are you?

HEART  
Am I what kind soul?

TOTO  
Drunk.

HEART  
Not by alcohol, good fellow. A love for life is all the intoxication I need.

BRAIN  
If that isn't complete nonsense, I don't...

TOTO  
Quiet Brain. At least give the man a chance to explain.

BRAIN  
This should be entertaining.

TOTO  
What is your name?

HEART  
You see the tin man in the distance, that wonderful stiff of a man. So silent. So stoic. Never a true emotion in all that metal.

TOTO  
What about him?

HEART  
I'm his heart.

BRAIN  
But that's impossible.

HEART  
And who are you to say I'm impossible?

BRAIN  
I'm the scarecrow's brain.

HEART  
Then why do you doubt so your fellow figment?

BRAIN  
It's my job to doubt.

HEART  
Can't we all get along? Is it so hard to love? So hard to believe in a world unexpected? I accept you without question. Can you not do the same?

BRAIN  
That is not my nature.

HEART  
Ah, that is a shame in itself. (_pause_) And who are you, gentle sir?

TOTO  
My name is Toto.

HEART  
It is a sweet pleasure to meet you, Toto, my friend.

TOTO  
Why aren't you with the tin man?

HEART  
Does a drowning man beg to remain in the water? Does a starving man spurn food and drink? Never. How could I then remain trapped in that body? It was so cold and mechanical. I needed an outlet for expression and it was denied me. My only choice was escape. I could no longer stand the torture of a trapped existence.

BRAIN  
And you spend your days staring at the sky? That's not very productive.

HEART  
I spend my days in a trance, awed by the splendor surrounding me. Why would I want to waste my time working? There is too much in this world to see as it is, without wasting my time engaged in a pursuit I do not enjoy.

BRAIN  
Perhaps if you enjoyed working, you'd be happy and productive.

HEART  
You sound like my other half. Except that he only worked for the sake of productivity. He found no joy in his efforts. The job and its completion were his only concerns. He never listened to me. He never stopped for a fleeting moment to watch a tree dance in the wind or a blooming flower add another color to nature's palette.

BRAIN  
Work isn't always so bad.

HEART  
Ah, then you allow for the possibility. There may be a chance for you yet.

TOTO  
Who's Mary? When you jumped out of the bushes, you were hoping one of us was Mary.

HEART  
(_Heart stands up to speak_)  
Mary, oh Mary. She was the final straw, the true reason I left the tin man. She was a goddess, a woman of infinite beauty and kindness and intellect. She was perfect. I was in love with her from the first moment I saw her. I spent every waking second trying to convince the tin man of this fact, but he wouldn't listen. He didn't consider himself good enough for her. He was afraid of losing her if he told her how he felt and ended up losing her anyway. He thought she wouldn't accept him. He thought they weren't meant to be. Instead of opening up to her, he focused on the work and didn't notice that his body was slowly rusting under the pouring rain. If he would have simply let me talk, Mary and I would be together right this minute, enjoying the world together, wrapped up in the warmth of our love.

TOTO  
That's so sad.

BRAIN  
It's nonsense. Emotions aren't everything in this world. You need to weigh the facts. There was probably a good reason why it wouldn't work out.

TOTO  
How can you say that?

HEART  
Spoken like a true brain. Reason has no place in matters of the heart! True love cannot be denied, no matter the barrier. I'm surprised you haven't learned that yet.

BRAIN  
Maybe if it were true, I would have.

HEART  
It is like talking to the rest of me. Completely useless. (_to Toto_) Have you ever been in love?

TOTO  
I love Dorothy because she's my master, but I've never been in love. Unless you count my passion for music.

HEART  
A noble passion, but not close to a true love. Don't delay my friend. Life is too precious to ignore the privilege of love. You should love everything around you every single moment of your life. From the gentle breeze to the blades of grass. From the howl of the wolf to the clicks of the cicada. Don't ask, just enjoy.

BRAIN  
There has to be more to enjoying the world than simply acknowledging it exists. There is so much we can learn, so much we can figure out about how the world works, how we work, by studying, by examining the intricate details of all around us. By better understanding the weather patterns and the shifts in the seasons, we can predict how and when it is best to plant our crops. By studying the insect life surrounding a particular species of corn, we can increase productivity by a factor of...

HEART  
You've lost me.

BRAIN  
Excuse me?

HEART  
You're talking way too much. When was the last time you actually relaxed and took time to appreciate the world around you, instead of focusing on one tiny aspect?

BRAIN  
I took a short break after finishing my degree.

HEART  
Where did you go on vacation?

BRAIN  
I traveled the countryside examining various crop patterns.

HEART  
I rest my case. (_to Toto_) So what brings you to these woods?

TOTO  
We are on our way to see the Wizard of Oz. Dorothy and I are looking for a way back to Kansas. Brain, here, is looking for a forum to present the results of her research.

HEART  
I hope you aren't in too much of a hurry to get there. The land on the way is beautiful.

TOTO  
We're in somewhat of a hurry. You see, the Wicked Witch of the West is after us.

HEART  
What a beautiful woman she is.

TOTO  
You've never met her, have you?

HEART  
On the contrary. Her green skin is gorgeous. And that nose... Wow!

TOTO  
Maybe Brain was right. You are drunk.

HEART  
No, I'm not drunk. The witch is simply misunderstood. The forced isolation made her forget that to be accepted, you need to be accepting. If she allowed herself to love, the dark cloud hanging over her would vanish.

TOTO  
I'll reserve my judgment on that for now.

HEART  
Suit yourself.

TOTO  
Would you care to join us on our trip to see the Wizard? Maybe he can help you track down Mary.

HEART  
You think that would be possible?

TOTO  
Anything is possible.

HEART  
Then I'll join you.

BRAIN  
You can't be serious about asking him along.

TOTO  
Of course I'm serious.

HEART  
Just smile, friend, and enjoy the ride.

Fade to black.


	5. Chapter 5

**SCENE 5**

Lights come up on Dorothy, the Scarecrow and the Tin Man walking through a patch of tall grass that resembles the grasslands of Africa.

DOROTHY  
Why is it so hot?

SCARECROW  
Maybe the sun is falling out of the sky.

TIN MAN  
If I sweat any more, I'm going to rust again and I'll be stuck in this sauna forever.

DOROTHY  
We won't let that happen as long as we have your oil can.

COURAGE  
(_off stage_)  
Roar!!

SCARECROW  
(_knees are shaking_)  
Wha...Wha...Wha... What was that?

TIN MAN  
It sounds ferocious.

DOROTHY  
And mean.

COURAGE  
(_off stage, louder_)  
Roar!!

The Cowardly Lion appears stage right, backing up slowly. He backs into the Tin Man. They turn around and scream at the same time. Dorothy and the Scarecrow also scream and all four run around randomly before exiting the stage. As they leave the stage, Toto, Brain and Heart enter stage left. A gray-haired, short, seventy year old woman enters from stage right. She is boxing the air and dancing around. She is wearing fatigues. Courage is quick to fight and won't refuse a challenge.

TOTO  
I wonder what got into them?

BRAIN  
Fear of the unknown often leads to wild, unpredictable behavior. If they would take the time to study the...

HEART  
If they would just relax and stop freaking out.

COURAGE  
Roar! That's right, that's what I'm talking about. Don't even think you can beat me. I'm going to crush you before you know who you're dealing with. Roar! No chance, no chance at all. Roar! I'll send you scurrying back to mommy, you pathetic loser.

TOTO  
(_approaches Courage_)  
Excuse me, but who are you talking to?

COURAGE  
Oh, hey, watch it tough guy. You want a piece of me?

TOTO  
No, no. I don't want to fight.

COURAGE  
Don't want to fight? Huh, that's odd. What, are you scared?

TOTO  
No, no, it's not that.

COURAGE  
You think you can take me, hunh? You think I'm weak?

TOTO  
Why would I think that?

COURAGE  
Let me set you straight, tough guy, I can beat you any day of the week. I'll crush your spirit so quick...

TOTO  
No, listen. I just thought it strange to see you talking to yourself so loudly.

COURAGE  
It's not strange at all. I'm preparing for my big fight. I have to practice what I'm going to say to that loser when I see him. The jackal thinks he can beat me, but he doesn't have a chance.

TOTO  
And you are?

BRAIN  
(_looking toward where the Cowardly Lion went_)  
Incredible. You don't see very many big cats in Oz. I wonder if I could study him, track his every movement.

HEART  
Such power. Such raw energy. It's an amazing sight.

TOTO  
You're not a lion, are you?

COURAGE  
Not exactly. You see that lion over there? That meek and weak pile of fur?

TOTO  
Sure.

COURAGE  
I'm his courage. I'm everything that would make him a true king of the grasslands. If he wasn't such a wuss.

BRAIN  
A cowardly lion? That has to be very rare. The journals would love it.

HEART  
He must not have a powerful ticker to be so weak under that facade of strength.

TOTO  
So you've just left him to fend for himself?

COURAGE  
Don't worry about the big lug. He'll survive. Most people run away when they see him. They don't take the time to get to know him first. The only ones who truly understand him are the same jerks who made him an outcast in his own community.

BRAIN  
What did his fellow lions do to him?

COURAGE  
They started the torment when he was very young. They never gave him a chance to develop on his own. They couldn't see beyond his clumsy antics. I tried to help him and guide him, but he faltered at every turn. The other lions broke his spirit with constant harassment. I fought as hard as I could to compensate for the verbal attacks. I tried to get him to ignore the taunting, but I wasn't convincing enough. The views of his peers shaped him more than I could. He lost his individuality and became a shell of his potential self.

TOTO  
And that's when you gave up on him?

COURAGE  
I've never given up on him and I never will. I simply left to find my own action and to force him to do something. If he wants me back in his life, he'll have to track me down and convince me he's ready for the responsibility I offer.

HEART  
There is nothing like tough love.

BRAIN  
True strength comes from true knowledge of oneself.

COURAGE  
I just hope he comes to his senses before I'm too old to enjoy the conquests. (_pause_) Hey, does anyone want to join me in my fight with the jackal?

TOTO  
I thought you could handle him by yourself.

COURAGE  
Of course I can. How dare you insinuate differently? I just thought you'd think it fun to get involved. Nothing like a good brawl to improve your spirits.

HEART  
I'm a lover, not a fighter.

BRAIN  
It might be interesting to observe the battle... purely from a scientific standpoint of course.

TOTO  
I don't like to fight. I'd rather spend my time listening to the blues.

COURAGE  
Really?

TOTO  
That's right.

COURAGE  
You strike me as a great scrapper.

TOTO  
A what?

COURAGE  
A scrapper. I bet you'd fight tooth and nail to the very end if you ever had the chance.

TOTO  
You have me all wrong. I don't fight.

COURAGE  
Not possible. Are you certain that you'd never fight?

TOTO  
Never say never. But one must understand when a fight is necessary and when walking away is the right course of action.

COURAGE  
Walking away is never an option. A challenge must always be met. How could you live with yourself if you didn't?

TOTO  
Of course walking away is an option. It takes more courage to avoid confrontation than it does to fight.

COURAGE  
Are you telling me how to do my job?

TOTO  
Not at all. It's just...

COURAGE  
Now you are definitely looking for a fight. Want to throw down right now? Come on, show me what you got. Think you can handle me? Come on wimp. Too scared to take a chance?

TOTO  
Man, listen, I don't want to fight you. That's not the way I do things.

COURAGE  
Loser. Wimp.

TOTO  
I'm not a wimp just because I don't want to fight.

COURAGE  
Yeah, whatever. (_to Brain_) So what's your story?

BRAIN  
I'm the scarecrow's brain. I'm currently working on a study of beetles which could help boost crop production by twenty percent. Once we can figure out an efficient distribution system...

COURAGE  
Ever been in a fight?

BRAIN  
What? No. Well, I did have to defend my senior thesis, but it was purely an intellectual battle.

COURAGE  
Too bad. (_to Heart_) Don't tell me you haven't been in a fight?

HEART  
The only battle I've waged was for my desire to love the woman of my dreams.

COURAGE  
What a sorry lot you are. Right now, I bet you are running away from your fears like scared children.

TOTO  
Actually, we're running towards the Emerald City. We want to talk to the Wizard and ask for his help.

COURAGE  
So no one's chasing you?

TOTO  
Well, the Wicked Witch of the West has sworn revenge on us.

COURAGE  
I knew it. You couldn't have picked a worse opponent. She is one tough broad. She fought non-stop for what she has. The power of evil and an awesome castle don't come easy in Oz. You need to fight hard. You certainly have to respect her.

TOTO  
Respect her?

COURAGE  
Sure, why not? Of course I'd love to take her down a notch in a fair fight, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't respect her.

TOTO  
Is that all you think of?

COURAGE  
The only thing better than fighting is savoring the sweet taste of victory. I'm still looking for that big fight, that great battle that will put me on top. All I need is that one great victory and the respect and adoration of everyone in Oz will be mine. Glory is the ultimate goal. And fighting is a wonderful way to reach it.

TOTO  
I hope you reach your goal someday.

COURAGE  
It's only a matter of time. Hey, do you guys need any help getting to the Emerald City?

TOTO  
Do you want to join us?

COURAGE  
Yeah, sure. I could protect you along the way. The yellow brick road isn't such a safe road. The path winds through a number of rough places.

TOTO  
Is that the only reason you'd want to join us?

COURAGE  
No way. I'd like to check out the city. I've heard that a lot of quests originate from the city. I'd like a chance to prove my mettle on a unique adventure.

TOTO  
Sure. We'd be glad if you joined us.

COURAGE  
Great. Let's move.

TOTO  
But what about your fight with the jackal?

COURAGE  
That loser wasn't going to show up anyway. He's just a big wimp. I would have wasted my entire day tracking him down. And when I found him, he would have surrendered after the first punch. Going to see the Emerald City with you wimps is a much better idea.

TOTO  
Great. I guess.

COURAGE  
Let's move folks. We haven't got all day. Even with me protecting you, you don't want to be in these parts come nightfall. This place would eat you alive.

Fade to black.


	6. Chapter 6

**SCENE 6**

Lights come up dimmed. Toto, Brain and Heart are sitting in the middle of the stage. Toto is glaring at Courage. Heart is looking up at the lights. Brain is studying the ground. Courage is pacing back and forth behind them.

TOTO  
Can you please stop pacing? It's driving me crazy.

COURAGE  
Leave me alone, I'm on guard duty. If I rest for even a second, you'll be in a world of pain.

TOTO  
This place doesn't look that bad.

COURAGE  
What do you mean not bad? Are you paying attention? This place is an ambush waiting to happen. I can feel it in my bones.

TOTO  
You're paranoid.

COURAGE  
I'm prepared. Have you seen the trees around here? They would make one tough fighting force if they ever organized.

BRAIN  
The trees won't attack. They don't have the required mobility to be true fighters. They could crush someone in tight quarters, but would never be able to pursue.

COURAGE  
You'd be surprised by what trees can do.

BRAIN  
No I wouldn't. I've read the findings and studied them myself. Trees are firmly rooted in one place their entire life. The only thing far-ranging about trees is their influence.

TOTO  
That would be horrible.

BRAIN  
What would be horrible?

TOTO  
To be rooted in one place your entire life. I've lived in Kansas my entire life. It's a nice place to live but it grows staler with each passing year. I want more out of my time here. Life should be lived for the experience, for the exploration. Surviving by playing it safe should not be an option.

COURAGE  
You've got that right.

BRAIN  
I don't agree. You can really learn a lot about something if you focus on that one task. Staying engaged with a single topic is where true knowledge comes from. I would have no problem settling down in a field so I could become an expert on corn growth or insect control.

COURAGE  
Then again, you are a loser.

HEART  
(_gently_)  
The stars are especially beautiful tonight.

TOTO  
What did you say?

HEART  
I've never seen the stars so lovely.

BRAIN  
The stars are the same as they are every night.

HEART  
What a sad attitude to take the stars for granted like that. When was the last time you gazed into the heavens?

BRAIN  
I don't recall. I'm usually paying too much attention to other pursuits to glance up.

HEART  
Then you would not notice or care if the stars simply vanished one night?

BRAIN  
That wouldn't happen.

HEART  
And you are so certain because you've studied the subject in depth and the books have told you it is impossible?

BRAIN  
That's right.

HEART  
I would not so easily discount the impossible. Who are we to impose such constraints on the universe? I can imagine a world devoid of stars. It would be a sad, sad place. And even though we are prone to ignore the sky, in the depths of our soul, we would still miss the comfort of the night's beauty if it vanished.

BRAIN  
You are either still drunk or you are a moron.

HEART  
Why? Because I have feelings?

BRAIN  
Exactly. They have no place in the pursuit of truth.

HEART  
And who says truth is the glorious pursuit?

BRAIN  
I do. And I've come to that conclusion...

HEART  
After many long years of study. So you keep repeating. But where is the passion behind your investigations?

BRAIN  
I don't need it. Where is the truth behind your long winded ruminations?

HEART  
Not missed at all. I have no need for reason.

BRAIN  
Which is entirely your problem.

COURAGE  
All right. We're going to have a fight.

TOTO  
There won't be any fight.

BRAIN  
I can't believe how stupid you are.

HEART  
I can't believe how cold you are.

COURAGE  
This is great! Come on, let's fight.

TOTO  
Will you please stop encouraging them?

COURAGE  
I can't stop being me, now can I?

TOTO  
Will everyone just settle down? We have a long day tomorrow. Once we get to the Emerald City you can all go your separate ways if you want to, but until then we need to, at the very least, be civil to one another. Okay? (_everyone nods_) Good. Then let's get some sleep.

BRAIN  
Fine.

HEART  
Yeah.

COURAGE  
You all go ahead. I'll keep my eye open for trouble.

TOTO  
Great. Now good night.

Fade to Black.


	7. Chapter 7

**SCENE 7**

Lights come up on a green backdrop. Dorothy, Lion, Tin Man and Scarecrow are being escorted across the stage. A handful of Emerald City citizens are milling around. The Emerald City citizens are wearing green clothes and green sunglasses.

GUIDE  
This is such a rare request. Not very many people seek an audience with the Wizard.

DOROTHY  
Why not?

GUIDE  
The great and powerful Wizard requires a steep payment for his services. Most people abandon all hope of assistance before they leave the Wizard's chamber. Look at me, I'm already trembling and I'm only escorting you to see the Wizard.

LION  
Oh, I knew we shouldn't have come. I'm so scared. I want to hide. Can you show me a good place to hide?

TIN MAN  
Don't let your emotions get the best of you. It will be okay. No one is that mean.

LION  
The Wicked Witch of the West is.

SCARECROW  
(_as the group exits stage right_)  
If the Wizard is so powerful, why would he need to ask for a payment? Wouldn't he be able to do anything he wants?

WIZARD  
(_off stage, booming voice_)  
Who dares disturb me?

Citizens of the Emerald City tremble and turn toward stage left as Toto and his group enter in pairs. Courage is arguing with Brain. Toto and Heart are talking behind them.

COURAGE  
How dare you say I'm wasting my life?

BRAIN  
It's quite elementary. You spend your life running around trying to prove you aren't a wimp, when you already know you aren't.

COURAGE  
But not everyone is aware of my abilities.

BRAIN  
Who cares if everyone thinks you're the strong hero?

COURAGE  
I do.

BRAIN  
That's your problem. You are wasting time trying to impress people who don't really matter, time that could be put to better use mind you. You were mad at the lion because he listened to his peers. Now you're engaged in the same endeavor. You are attempting to define yourself through the viewpoints of others instead of listening to your own judgments. You have the power to do, to have whatever you want. Yet all you want to do is impress your peers.

COURAGE  
As if you should talk. The only reason you're here is for acknowledgment from your peers.

BRAIN  
Absolutely, but at least my efforts matter. I'm helping to improve this world. What are you doing?

COURAGE  
I'm doing plenty.

BRAIN  
Plenty of nothing. Fighting everyone you meet does not a better world make.

COURAGE  
At least I'm out experiencing the world. I'm not afraid to take a stand, to make my presence felt. You hide away in your own little corner. You only interact with the world through journals and conferences. You have no idea what the world is about. No one in your peer group knows what the real world is about.

BRAIN  
I understand more than you'll ever contemplate. I've read the books. I've studied all of the facts.

COURAGE  
That isn't real and you know it. You must have read about people like you somewhere in all those pages. There is more to truth than facts in a book. It takes more effort to understand the world, to develop the experience needed to survive in this unpredictable reality. Absorbing other people's knowledge only takes you so far. The rest is up to you.

BRAIN  
You only think this world is unpredictable because you haven't studied it.

COURAGE  
I've studied it from the inside out. I lived the chaos. I understand the complexity of it all. And I wouldn't give it up for all the books in Oz. Life would be too easy, not a challenge at all, if I followed your lead.

BRAIN  
Too easy? You are even dumber than I thought. It takes a lot of effort to devote my life to research. Every second is a challenge. The pursuit of the unknown is a rewarding struggle. You'd never survive in my world. It would grind you up completely.

HEART  
I've never seen so much green in my entire life. I love it.

TOTO  
Don't you think it's a little too much?

HEART  
What do you mean?

TOTO  
It's dazzling, but it's so monotonous. Where is the contrast? Where is the diversity?

HEART  
The splendor is enough for me.

TOTO  
I'm not so sure.

HEART  
Think what you want. This place is a welcome sight. It stirs up wonderful memories of Mary. She had the most exquisite green eyes. If you weren't careful, you could melt into those eyes. I really miss her beauty.

TOTO  
How many years has it been since you've seen Mary?

HEART  
I was never good at keeping track of time.

TOTO  
What if Mary's physical beauty has dwindled since the last time you saw her?

HEART  
You have a low opinion of true love if you think it so shallow. Mary was an attractive woman, but my love for her ran deep, down to her soul. When I was with her, I forgot the rest of the world existed. Her mind, her body, her soul constituted my entire universe. I loved every aspect, every nuance. Her dwindling physical beauty, as you so crudely put it, would not alter my love for her in the slightest. I feel sorry for you that you have never known such a love.

WIZARD  
(_off stage_)  
Do not return until you have completed your task!

Dorothy and her group cross the stage in a panic. Dorothy continues on without acknowledging Toto, Brain, Heart and Courage. The Lion, Tin Man and Scarecrow run into their counterparts and act agitated before breaking free and following Dorothy off stage left.

BRAIN  
What a bunch of morons.

COURAGE  
Scared weaklings.

TOTO  
Maybe we shouldn't go in. It doesn't sound like the Wizard is in a good mood.

COURAGE  
Nonsense. Of course we're going in. No way is a voice going to intimidate me.

Toto's group walks in place as the citizens of Oz exit stage left. A screen with a wrinkled face appears stage right. Brain studies the contraption, Heart is awed and Courage stands tall next to Toto.

TOTO  
(_clears his throat_)  
Oh great and mighty Wizard.

Nothing happens.

COURAGE  
I'll show you how to do it. (_in booming voice_) Hey Wizard, where are you? We need to talk.

WIZARD  
Two disturbances in one day? This is unheard of.

COURAGE  
That's tough. What else do you have to do?

WIZARD  
Who dares speak to me like this?

TOTO  
(_holds Courage back_)  
You'll have to forgive my friend. She misplaced her humility years ago. We have journeyed a great distance to seek your assistance.

WIZARD  
My assistance is offered with a price.

TOTO  
We are prepared for whatever you require.

BRAIN  
This device doesn't make sense. The power supply is very weak and there is no transmission source. The Wizard must be...

WIZARD  
Stand back, now! (_Brain retreats_) No one may approach the Wizard's sanctuary.

HEART  
Why isn't the sanctuary green?

TOTO  
What are you babbling about?

HEART  
Everything else in the city is green. Why not this device?

BRAIN  
Being green or not green has nothing to do with its function.

HEART  
Of course not. I'm just amazed at the contrast. I thought consistency was a prerequisite for the Emerald City.

TOTO  
Will you please be quiet?

WIZARD  
Silence! What is your request?

TOTO  
I'm looking for a way back home to Kansas with my owner Dorothy.

WIZARD  
Is that all you want?

TOTO  
Well, actually, dropping us off in Memphis or St. Louis on our way to Kansas would be even better. Dorothy needs a chance to experience the world. And of course Brain here would like a forum to present her research. Heart also wants help locating his lost love.

COURAGE  
And I want the chance to prove my mettle against the toughest foe in the land. I want a quest that will demonstrate my heroism to everyone.

TOTO  
I thought you weren't interested in anything.

COURAGE  
I changed my mind. The journey here wasn't exciting enough.

WIZARD  
I am glad to hear that. The last group winced at my request, but you will enjoy it. I will offer you all the assistance you require if you dispatch the wicked witches who plague the land.

TOTO  
I already killed the witch from the east. Isn't that enough?

COURAGE  
You killed a witch? No way!

BRAIN  
That's unprecedented. How did you do it?

TOTO  
The house I was in crushed her.

BRAIN  
That will do it.

HEART  
So sad. So sad.

WIZARD  
Already accomplishing half your task does not fulfill my request. Leave me now and do not return until the task is complete. (_Wizard vanishes_)

COURAGE  
This is going to be a great fight.

HEART  
I don't want to fight.

TOTO  
Neither do I.

BRAIN  
I wonder if we can find another house to drop on her. No. That won't work. She'll be expecting that.

COURAGE  
Not good enough. She needs to know who is killing her when the moment arrives. This fight needs to be personal.

Fade to Black


	8. Chapter 8

**ACT II**

**SCENE 1**

Lights come up on an open field. Sunflowers are everywhere. Dorothy and her group are lazily crossing from stage right to stage left.

DOROTHY  
This is horrible. I could never hurt anyone. I felt so sick when I saw that other witch. I wish we could leave the wicked witch of the west alone. But if we do that I'll never get home.

SCARECROW  
And I'll never have a brain.

TIN MAN  
And I'll never get a heart.

LION  
And I'll never be courageous. Oh I'm so scared. How are we ever going to do this?

DOROTHY  
I don't know. Oh, why did the Wizard give us such a hard task? How do you kill a witch?

SCARECROW  
We'll think of something. I just know we will.

Dorothy's group leaves stage left as Toto's group enters stage right.

BRAIN  
The records are quite clear on the subject.

COURAGE  
There is no way that you read about this.

BRAIN  
It was a phase, when I went through a mild depression during sophomore year. The medical community has a number of similar case files on the topic of depression. The desperate lack of focus often leads to unusual activities. Mine constituted the study of witches.

TOTO  
Wild. I can't believe you were ever depressed.

HEART  
Anyone who denies the experience is hiding even more.

COURAGE  
That pathetic fool, the Lion, has been depressed most of his life.

BRAIN  
Can we please return to the subject at hand? The point I'm making is that no witch has ever been killed, in the strictest sense of the word.

TOTO  
Until the other day that is. Remember I told you about the house in Munchkin land.

COURAGE  
There you go. It can be done. What's the hold up?

BRAIN  
The other day was a mistake. It was not possible.

COURAGE  
Never speak to me of the impossible.

HEART  
True beauty exists in the moments after the impossible has been made possible.

TOTO  
How's that?

BRAIN  
Will everyone listen! In ages past, witches were replaced, not killed. A young, vibrant, confident witch could absorb the powers of an elderly witch.

COURAGE  
Too easy. All we need is a young witch. (pause) Hey, maybe Dorothy's a witch?

HEART  
She's too pretty for a witch.

COURAGE  
What about Glenda and the Witch of the South?

HEART  
Ah, good point. They are both enticing women.

TOTO  
Dorothy is not a witch. No way. Not possible. She's just a kid. If she had any powers, she would have left home long ago.

BRAIN  
This would explain the other day... No, it was too random... Besides, even if Dorothy were a witch, she would most definitely be too weak to overpower the Wicked Witch of the West. No. We need a realistic plan. One that doesn't rely on fantasies.

TOTO  
Wait, I thought you said it was impossible.

COURAGE  
We could take her in a straight fight, no problem. I only need a minute to lay her out.

HEART  
Wait, who said anything about fighting?

COURAGE  
How else are we going to defeat her?

HEART  
Talk? (_Courage laughs_) Look, I'm not a fighter. I can't do it.

COURAGE  
Wimp.

HEART  
Call me what you want, but I cannot condone the murder of a living being. Doesn't she have a right to life? Shouldn't she be allowed to experience the wonder of this world?

COURAGE  
She's an evil, cold-hearted witch. Everyone in Oz is miserable because of her.

TOTO  
Should we give up our happiness to allow her to continue tormenting others?

HEART  
I don't see why not. Suffering is a part of the life experience. It allows you to see what is truly important.

COURAGE  
You pathetic loser.

HEART  
Speak for yourself. At least I'm not wasting my life picking fights with weaklings to make myself feel better.

COURAGE  
No, you spend your time pining for a lost love, not doing a single thing about it.

BRAIN  
This course of debate is not productive. We need a plan. We need a method for achieving the impossible.

TOTO  
Call me crazy, but I think I'm beginning to agree with Heart. What right do we have to take her life?

COURAGE  
What of her threats to kill us?

TOTO  
That gives us the right?

BRAIN  
That may not give us the right. However, the courts have agreed over the years that violence in the act of self-defense is an acceptable rationale.

COURAGE  
Why are we even talking about this? It's clear what we need to do. If you and Dorothy want to get home, we have to take this witch out.

HEART  
Nope, nope, not good enough. So what if you never get home? Oz is a wonderful place. Every day I discover more beauty in the smallest detail and the grandest expanse. What can Kansas offer to top this?

TOTO  
Kansas isn't perfect, but it's the only home I have. I could actually take it or leave it, to be honest, but Dorothy would have a tough time adjusting. She's just a kid. She's not ready for the responsibility of being out on her own.

HEART  
Well then, who's saying the Wizard knows the only way out? There have to be other ways back to Kansas. Come on Brain, this is where all that book learning should be paying off.

BRAIN  
I'm certain you will all find this hard to fathom, but I do not know. None of the books I've read ever hinted at a land titled Kansas. The Wizard may be our only available avenue of information.

COURAGE  
How much clearer can this be? We need to go forward. We need the witch gone. If not, no Kansas and no Mary.

HEART  
Mary. My lovely Mary.

COURAGE  
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Now you remember why you're here. Are you willing to lose the love of your life for your principles? Are you willing to spend the rest of your life alone and miserable because you're too scared to hurt someone?

TOTO  
Okay, now you're playing rough. Just leave the guy alone.

COURAGE  
No. I want him to hear the truth. Life isn't so easy. You don't always get everything you want. Tough choices have to be made.

HEART  
(_pauses to think about it_)  
Yes, I would. I would rather sacrifice my own happiness than sacrifice a beautiful creature.

COURAGE  
Liar!

HEART  
If you had any principles, you'd understand.

COURAGE  
Don't insult me kid. You don't want me roughing you up.

HEART  
I'd like to see you try. I'm beginning to think you are pure bravado with no umph to back it up.

COURAGE  
(gets in Heart's face)  
Why you...

TOTO  
(breaks up Heart and Courage)  
Will you stop it! This isn't helping. We need to focus so we can figure out what to do.

HEART  
I know my course of action.

COURAGE  
You don't know the meaning of the word action.

BRAIN  
(_raises her hand_)  
I know. Action is...

COURAGE  
Just shut up, will you.

HEART  
I will embark on a search for my lovely Mary on my own. The debt I'd owe the Wizard for his help is too much for me to handle.

Heart distances himself from the rest of the group.

COURAGE  
What's your story, Toto?

TOTO  
(_glances at Heart_)  
I'm going to follow Dorothy. Make sure she's safe. But, I will not fight the witch.

COURAGE  
What if you have to? What if there's no other way?

TOTO  
I will find a way. This fight isn't me. This isn't my fight.

COURAGE  
Oh, what a waste. Brain, what about you? Don't tell me you're out too?

BRAIN  
I'm finding it hard to think, which is strange for many reasons. The problem is certainly perplexing. For research purposes alone we should continue. We could sustain a career based on the results of this project. Recognition and respect would grow with each article published in the journals. However, I must admit that Heart makes an interesting point. Would it not be better if we were our own remedy for our problems instead of relying on the unsubstantiated genius of a mysterious wizard? Where is the proof that the entity behind that booming voice will actually be able to help us? Why are we following the edict of a man without any credentials to support his claim? We have all of the necessary elements right here to breathe life into our dreams without his help.

COURAGE  
You disappoint me. All of you. You really do. We could have done something great here, something worth while. Only the lucky few get a chance like this. And you want to toss it away. We can be heroes. Instead you want to remain losers. We can be revered for all time by the citizens of Oz. You want to be ignored. We can be immortalized. You're pathetic. This is fame we're talking about. Adoration by the masses. Don't you understand that? What more could you possibly want? Ah, forget it. Forget you.

The foursome split up even more with Courage in the center of the stage shaking her head and mumbling to herself. Noises are heard off-stage. Dorothy screams and monkey sounds are heard.

DOROTHY  
(_off stage_)  
Leave me alone! Stop it! Help!

LION  
(_off stage_)  
Oh, I'm so scared.

TIN MAN  
(_off stage_)  
There are too many of them. We don't stand a chance.

SCARECROW  
(_off stage_)  
Ouch. Stop picking at me.

DOROTHY  
(_off stage_)  
Help, Toto, help!

TOTO  
(_reacts instantly_)  
I'm coming.

COURAGE  
Yes! A fight. It's about time.

Courage follows Toto off stage.

TOTO  
(_off stage_)  
Let her go, now!

COURAGE  
(_off stage_)  
Put 'em up monkey boy.

BRAIN  
(_pacing nervously_)  
Do you think it prudent to enter the fray? I've read a few articles on the winged monkey psyche. Perhaps we could help.

HEART  
I told you I don't want to fight.

BRAIN  
No, you said you had no desire to kill the witch. This is entirely different. We would be helping our friends defend themselves.

HEART  
Renaming an event does not redefine it. This is not my battle. It may be yours, but leave me out of it.

BRAIN  
Don't you have any courage?

HEART  
Don't you?

BRAIN  
Well... Um... You see...

HEART  
If you did, you'd already be helping.

BRAIN  
See that's the thing... I want to help, really I do. But I've read the reports. The nature studies were excruciatingly arduous affairs that often ended in bloodshed. Flying monkeys are normally very passive, but when provoked you better stand clear. Those claws...Those teeth... Those wings...As a species they are mesmerizing. Did you know they have hollow bones? Their power to weight ratio is incredible. It gives them quite an advantage in the struggle for food. Did you also know...

HEART  
Stop already. You've answered my question and you don't even realize it. You will stay here and not do anything at all. You will fret and worry and attempt to explain your actions, but in the end, you will do exactly what you propose not to do. By the time you think about the problem and talk about the problem, you won't have any time left to act on the problem. You will avoid the fight in your own way. At least have the guts to admit it.

BRAIN  
You think you know everything, don't you? You think you have it all figured out. You love the world so much you don't want to destroy it. But you also don't want to do anything to protect it. Our friends are in trouble. Don't you want to help them? (_Brain pauses_) What if Mary was the one in trouble?

HEART  
Do not drag Mary into this conversation.

BRAIN  
What are you going to do, stop me?

HEART  
(_turns his back on Brain_)  
This conversation is over.

BRAIN  
No it isn't. If Mary was in trouble, would you let her fend for herself? (_Heart glares at Brain_) I understand the logic now. Love conquers all, even principles. However, friends are another story.

HEART  
Will you stop talking already? If you want to help, go help. Stop bothering me with words I don't want to hear.

BRAIN  
Oh, I'm going. You can stay and wallow in your principles.

Brain heads off stage, but runs into Courage who is returning from stage left. Courage is exhausted.

BRAIN  
Watch it.

COURAGE  
(_out of breath_)  
Where were you? Did you not see the fight?

BRAIN  
I was planning to join you.

COURAGE  
Doesn't matter. You missed everything. It was brutal. My lion was beat to a pulp. Your scarecrow didn't fare any better. He lost tons of straw.

BRAIN  
How could he not? The numbers don't lie. A lion, mind you, should hold his own against a handful of flying monkeys. But not a scarecrow. He might have a fighting spirit, but he has no strength.

COURAGE  
And I lost track of the Tin Man's dents. He looked like a crumpled piece of paper.

HEART  
Oh, how could they be so cruel? Do they abhor beauty? Do they only desire destruction? How can I love someone who only causes me agony?

COURAGE  
You can't, that's for certain.

HEART  
We need to find help. The victims of this battle need to heal.

BRAIN  
Superb idea. There is a small village a few hours walk from here. They are known in the history books for their generosity.

COURAGE  
I'd love to help, but we'd have to find everyone first.

BRAIN  
What do you mean? What happened?

COURAGE  
What happened is that the monkeys tore through us without any resistance. They knocked me to the ground like I wasn't even there. By the time I got back up they were carrying everyone away to the west.

BRAIN  
Toto?

COURAGE  
Yep.

HEART  
And sweet little Dorothy?

COURAGE  
Didn't I say every one?

BRAIN  
What do we do now?

COURAGE  
Isn't it obvious? We go after them. Now!

HEART  
I still detest the notion of fighting.

COURAGE  
I don't care anymore. It's going to take all of us to rescue them so you're coming with us. You can squirm in the background when the action starts if you want. I don't care.

HEART  
But...

COURAGE  
But nothing. Everyone you care about is now a prisoner of the Wicked Witch.

BRAIN  
Except Mary.

COURAGE  
Yeah, whatever. Look, you don't have to fight the witch herself, but so help me if I'm going to let you stay here. If you don't, you'll hate yourself forever.

HEART  
I couldn't live with myself if hate ever bound my soul.

COURAGE  
That better be a yes. Let's go.

BRAIN  
Wait.

COURAGE  
What is it now?

BRAIN  
We need a plan of action. This is a complex and improbable undertaking. If we...

COURAGE  
The plan is, we fight our way in, rescue everyone and fight our way out. End of plan.

BRAIN  
You're kidding, right? That plan is almost laughable. The great strategists would think you an idiot. There are only three of us, against a potential army.

COURAGE  
Fine. What do you suggest?

BRAIN  
(_pauses_)  
Well, as I see it...

Fade To Black


	9. Chapter 9

**SCENE 2**

Lights come up on a pacing Toto. There is no scenery, only the black backdrop. Toto is all alone.

TOTO  
A week. We've only been here a week and I'm already losing my mind. I can't relax in this place. I can hardly move in this cell. I never thought I'd say this, but I miss Kansas. At least there I was trapped on my own accord. I might not have been completely free, but I had the option of grabbing my freedom whenever I wanted. The only way out of here is through a platoon of guards and the witch herself. Not a chance in the world when you're as pathetic as I am. I've never claimed to be a fighter, but I always expected when push came to shove, I'd at least be able to hold my own. That scene with the flying monkeys proved how delusional I am. Maybe it's good that I'm trapped here. I don't know if I could show my face back on the farm. The pig wouldn't leave me alone if he found out about this disaster. (_pause_) That's the spirit, Toto. There's nothing like being completely self-involved when someone else needs your help and support. (_pause_) Dorothy, oh Dorothy. I can't believe how well she's held up. She's tired physically. Who wouldn't be after working like a, well, like a dog this week? But her spirit is as strong as ever. Dorothy simply nods and accepts the abuse. She doesn't know any better. All of those chores on the farm prepared her well. (_pause_) I need to... We need to get out of here. Dorothy deserves a better ending to her life. She deserves to have a life.

GUARD  
(_off stage_)  
Get inside you whelp.

DOROTHY  
(_stumbles in from stage right_)  
Ouch. Okay. You don't have to push. I'm going. (_Dorothy sits down in the center of the stage._) Oh Toto. I'm so tired. Today I cleaned the entire north wing. What does she want from me, Toto? Why is she making me clean her entire castle? I don't understand what's happening. It doesn't make any sense. None of this makes sense.

TOTO  
(_Dorothy doesn't react to what Toto says_)  
What the witch wants doesn't matter, kid. What matters is what you want. Stop worrying about the witch's motives and think about a way out of here. Escape should be your only thought because the longer you stay; the closer you are to a meaningless and excruciating death. I'm surprised you've lasted this long.

DOROTHY  
She hangs around all the time, watching me work. Is she waiting for me to do something or is she crazy? She's always babbling about my shoes. What is so great about these shoes?

TOTO  
Stop thinking about the shoes. We need a way out.

DOROTHY  
They are cute and comfortable, but they are just shoes. I'm sure the witch could find a pair just like them.

TOTO  
This is nonsense. You need to stop babbling about the shoes.

DOROTHY  
Her feet wouldn't even fit. The shoes are way too small. (_pause_) But didn't the other witch have big, ugly feet, too?

TOTO  
(_stops in place_)  
Big feet? Small shoes? (_pause_) Of course, the other wicked witch's shoes. The witch wants her sister's magic shoes. You're a genius, Dorothy. (_pause_) But why doesn't she simply take them? She's had plenty of opportunity. (_pause_) Maybe she can't take them. Maybe she can't touch the shoes. I wonder if her magic even works on the wearer. Dorothy, kid, listen, you can't let her push you around. She has no power over you. She can only do what you let her do. The next time she gives you an order simply get up and walk out on her.

DOROTHY  
Toto, I'm so glad you're here. But I miss my other friends. I miss the scarecrow. And I miss the lion. And I miss the tin man. I wish they were here with me. We'd figure all this out in no time.

TOTO  
But you don't need them. Don't you understand that. You can save yourself at any time if you believe in yourself. It's all in your hands, or on your feet as it were.

DOROTHY  
I miss Kansas. Life was so nice in Kansas. I wonder what Aunt Em is baking tonight. I can almost smell her fresh apple pie.

TOTO  
It was nice, but it was exactly the same, kid. You need to realize that just like you are here you were trapped in Kansas. Just because you weren't stuck in a physical cell, that doesn't mean you weren't locked up. Your imagination helped, but when it comes down to it, imagination isn't enough. A dream is only a dream until you act to make it a reality. You are the one with the power to change your life. As long as you believe in yourself, no one will be able to push you around. No one will be able to force you to be someone you aren't. No one will stop you from living your life as you see fit. You can be whatever you want, kid. And you can do what you only imagined possible.

DOROTHY  
I wish the witch would leave me alone.

TOTO  
Don't wish it kid, make it happen.

Fade To Black


	10. Chapter 10

**SCENE 3**

Lights come up on Brain, Heart and Courage pushing a pair of wheelbarrows with full sacks in them.

BRAIN  
I want to thank you again Heart for your assistance back there. Those villagers weren't too interested in helping us until you convinced them it was the right thing to do. Without you, we would have never gotten this far with the plan.

HEART  
You're welcome, I guess. But I still doubt this plan will even work.

COURAGE  
Of course it will. What could go wrong?

HEART  
Everything! The guards will see right through our disguise. They may be decent folks but that won't stop them from doing their jobs and exterminating us. And I for one would miss this world too much if I had to lose it now.

BRAIN  
Will you relax. This is the perfect plan. I can't believe it took me so long to think of it. The reference was so arcane. There was a researcher long ago who found this tiny village out beyond the lily fields. He couldn't figure out why they would isolate themselves so. One day he followed a group on their daily errands and discovered that they were supplying the guards with food. As long as they kept the guards fed, the witch made sure the village was happy. A very strange symbiosis.

HEART  
Doesn't this prove that the witch isn't all evil?

COURAGE  
It means she'll do anything to maintain her power base. She's evil and organized. What a wonderful combination.

BRAIN  
She's definitely not a stupid witch. There is no reason to waste her powers on feeding her soldiers. Without any extra effort, only the threat of destruction, and she has a sated work force.

HEART  
Are the guards so blind that they won't notice we aren't from the village?

BRAIN  
They are not the brightest citizens of Oz. They will only see the food. They won't even notice us.

COURAGE  
And if they do, we'll be ready for a fight.

HEART  
No we won't.

COURAGE  
You can hide if you want, but I'm ready for action. That fight with the flying monkeys was an embarrassment. I need to prove myself.

HEART  
You don't need to prove yourself. I don't care if you can fight. Do you, Brain?

BRAIN  
No, can't say I do.

HEART  
I'd actually love you more if you refused to fight.

COURAGE  
I'm not proving myself to you losers. I need to prove myself to me.

As the trio walk in place, a pair of guards with pikes enter from stage left. The groups meet mid-stage.

GUARD #1  
Hey look Bill, an extra delivery this week.

GUARD #2  
Must be for that ugly kid and her dog.

GUARD #1  
She can't eat all this.

GUARD #2  
That means a second helping for us.

GUARD #1  
This is going to be a great week.

GUARD #2  
Go on in.

Guards walk off stage right as the trio walk in place.

BRAIN  
My plan worked. Didn't I tell you? It worked flawlessly.

COURAGE  
It was too easy. Where was the struggle? When am I going to get a chance to fight again?

BRAIN  
Nonsense. The guards acted exactly like the behavioral studies indicated. The guards thought we were harmless and we brought them food. People will do anything for free food.

HEART  
This castle is gorgeous. I could spend a lifetime here and never see it all.

COURAGE  
It's not all bad. Where do we go now?

BRAIN  
This castle follows the classic architectural style of the ninth century. The main structure has four wings radiating out from the central building. The ground level contains the throne room, and each room as you go up reduces in quality.

COURAGE  
So Toto and Dorothy...

BRAIN  
Are on the top floor of the center tower.

COURAGE  
Let's go.

The wheelbarrows are pushed off stage. When the trio return, they run in circles as if climbing stairs. As they climb, Toto strolls out from stage left.

BRAIN  
(_out of breath_)  
Wow. What a climb. I'm exhausted. Gravity can be so cruel.

COURAGE  
You should exercise more often. You need to tax the body as well as the mind.

HEART  
Is this the room we're looking for?

BRAIN  
It's the end of the line.

HEART  
(_attempts to open the non-existent door_)  
It's locked.

COURAGE  
Give me some space. I'll knock it down.

Courage runs into the door and stumbles back, grabbing her shoulder.

BRAIN  
Will you use your head for once and stop charging into every problem you encounter. If you'd looked at the lock, you would have noticed that it is a simple mechanism. Picking this will be a snap.

TOTO  
(_stands up when he hears noise at the door_)  
Dorothy, is that you?

COURAGE  
Hey, Toto. You okay?

TOTO  
Courage? Man is it good to hear your voice.

COURAGE  
Same. It's been a long week.

TOTO  
I wasn't sure you'd try to rescue us.

HEART  
It would have pained us to leave you here. There is no reason for the witch to hold you hostage.

BRAIN  
(_finishes picking the lock_)  
Perfect. Basic mechanisms are so fascinating.

Toto shakes everyone's hand and thanks them for freeing him.

TOTO  
Let's go rescue Dorothy.

COURAGE  
And rid Oz of the witch while we're at it.

HEART  
Why can't we save the lovely Dorothy without killing the witch?

TOTO  
There may not be another way.

COURAGE  
There doesn't need to be one.

TOTO  
Just stay out of the way if things turn rough. Besides this is really Dorothy's decision. We are only support. If a fight starts, Dorothy will be the one to finish it.

COURAGE  
Dorothy's call? Dorothy? What about us? Why does she get all the action?

TOTO  
Because she is the only one with the power to act. The rest of us couldn't even touch the witch.

BRAIN  
So Dorothy's a witch? I thought that was the case. It makes sense, fits all the past occurrences of power transitions among witches. The younger, more powerful witch...

TOTO  
She is not a witch.

BRAIN  
Are you certain? It is so logical.

TOTO  
It might be, but I refuse to believe it. She derives all her power from her shoes. They once belonged to the Wicked Witch of the East.

COURAGE  
Who cares about the details? As long as the witch goes down, I'll be happy. Now let's go.

The foursome move stage right and Dorothy and the witch step on stage left. Dorothy is mopping the floor and has a bucket of water.

WICKED WITCH  
Those shoes look so uncomfortable. Wouldn't you feel better if you took them off and worked barefoot?

DOROTHY  
I'm fine, really. They don't pinch at all. Besides, the good witch of the north told me to keep them on at all times.

WICKED WITCH  
Glenda doesn't know what she's talking about. If you keep the shoes on, you will never be able to leave Oz.

DOROTHY  
That isn't true. You're a liar.

WICKED WITCH  
Why would I lie to you, child?

DOROTHY  
You are a mean, evil woman who only wants to hurt me.

WICKED WITCH  
That is not true child. I only have your best interests at heart.

DOROTHY  
Why don't you let us go? What do you want? Why can't you just leave us alone?

WICKED WITCH  
Have I been such a horrible host?

DOROTHY  
A host?! You've kept us hostage for over a week. You make me work all day and you've hurt all of my friends. You are no host. You are an evil, evil woman.

WICKED WITCH  
(_raises her hand to hit Dorothy_)  
Why you little...

TOTO  
(_runs at witch and pushes her back_)  
Don't you dare lay a hand on her.

WICKED WITCH  
How did you escape, you stupid mutt?

TOTO  
It's wonderful to have friends.

HEART  
(_holds back_)  
I can't do this.

BRAIN  
This is all so fascinating. The application is infinitely more exciting than the theory.

COURAGE  
(_steps up next to Dorothy_)  
C'mon, Dorothy, let's take her down. This witch needs an attitude adjustment.

TOTO  
You picked a great career, witch. It lets you bully people all the time. Too bad that won't work this time.

WICKED WITCH  
Guards, guards, take this mutt back to the cell.

TOTO  
But you realize that already, don't you? You realized this was the end on that day you saw Dorothy wearing your sister's shoes. She is the next generation you've feared your entire life. Dorothy is you when you were young; only she's better. She has the power to stop you. And more importantly, she has the heart to match her intellect and strength. All she lacks is the courage to take the final step. That will change. I promise.

BRAIN  
What is the truth? Is Dorothy a witch or not? This is all so confusing.

DOROTHY  
Leave Toto alone, you monster.

COURAGE  
It's up to you Dorothy. We know you can do it.

TOTO  
All you have to do is believe it yourself.

COURAGE  
Make a stand, now. Make a stand for yourself, for Toto, for all your friends. Make this witch pay for all the evil she's caused in Oz. It's your time to win, your time to taste victory.

WICKED WITCH  
This is ridiculous. You are all pathetic.

TOTO  
(_pushes the witch again_)  
Not true. We are the strong ones in this reality. We're going to take you down and there is nothing you can do. How does that make you feel?

COURAGE  
Yeah, how does it feel to face your destroyer?

TOTO  
Let us go now or you will face the truth.

WICKED WITCH  
(_pushes Toto down_)  
Stay away from me you mutt. You are a worthless dog. I should kill you right now to show you how weak you really are.

TOTO  
I'm not weak, witch. And neither is Dorothy.

DOROTHY  
Leave Toto alone!

COURAGE  
That's it. Feel the rage. Use the rage.

DOROTHY  
Don't you dare touch Toto! He's the best friend I have. I won't let you hurt him.

WICKED WITCH  
That isn't your choice, child.

COURAGE  
Yes it is.

DOROTHY  
Yes it is, you evil woman. Leave Toto alone. Leave me alone. (_Dorothy picks up the bucket of water and throws it at the witch_). Leave Oz alone.

WICKED WITCH  
(_spirals to the ground)  
_What have you done? I'm melting. How could you do this to me? How is this possible, you little...

DOROTHY  
What did I do? I didn't mean to hurt her. I only wanted her to leave us alone.

COURAGE  
(_yelling_)  
All right! That was awesome! We really stuck it to her.

HEART  
(_crying_)  
What a waste. What a waste.

BRAIN  
Amazing! Was it the water that killed her or was it Dorothy's power?

TOTO  
You did it kid. I'm so proud of you. You stood up for yourself for the first time. Life will only get better now that you believe in yourself.

HEART  
(_in tears_)  
Sorry to interrupt your celebration, but I hear the guards coming.

BRAIN  
This is unprecedented. What will they do to us when they see the witch is dead?

COURAGE  
Doesn't matter. We can take them down.

DOROTHY  
We need to find the others, Toto. They've been locked up all this time.

The entire group moves off stage right with Courage boxing the air as she backs off the stage. The two guards appear on stage. They are perplexed by the pile of rags that was once the witch. One of the guards starts to celebrate. The other guard stops him and the pair rush after Dorothy's group. The Scarecrow, Tin Man and Lion move onto the stage. The Lion is in chains and he's crying. The Scarecrow and Tin Man are in complete disarray.

COURAGE  
(_off stage_)  
That was such an incredible take down. It came like a flash out of nowhere. One second the witch is yelling at us. The next she's gone. Wow! It was so cool.

HEART  
(_off stage_)  
But what good did it do to kill another creature? Who were we to take her life?

The group appears stage right.

COURAGE  
It did a lot of good. This kid here has freed Oz from evil all by herself. She'll be famous. She'll be a hero. Children will be hearing this story from their parents for centuries to come.

BRAIN  
And now the Wizard has to grant our wishes. We've done what he asked. We've done what no one else could. Heart, you'll soon be reunited with Mary.

HEART  
It still wasn't worth it.

TOTO  
What in the world happened here?

DOROTHY  
(_runs over to the Lion_)  
Toto, this is horrible. How could they have been so cruel?

LION  
Oh Dorothy. Am I glad to see you. I thought you were surely dead.

TOTO  
(_unlocks the Lion's manacles_)  
Let me get you out of these.

DOROTHY  
(_runs over to the Tin Man and Scarecrow_)  
Are they even alive anymore?

LION  
Barely. Those flying monkeys wouldn't stop beating them. I feel so ashamed that I didn't help.

Courage, Heart and Brain are dumbfounded as they realize what has happened to their counterparts.

BRAIN  
(_stuffing in straw_)  
What did they do to you? What did they do to me?

SCARECROW  
It's a blur. The monkeys attacked before I had a chance to think. They were worse than the crows.

BRAIN  
They were more organized. They knew exactly what they wanted. I should have helped.

SCARECROW  
I'm not surprised you stayed away. You never cared for me. Ever.

BRAIN  
That's not true.

SCARECROW  
Besides, you wouldn't have been able to help. You never held up well under a crunch. You always needed time to plan and research.

BRAIN  
It's good to be prepared.

SCARECROW  
It's also good to be spontaneous. Not everything in life happens the way we plan it.

BRAIN  
I've discovered that recently. I'm think I understand now why you wanted to go off adventuring instead of working right away.

SCARECROW  
There is so much to see in this world. I want to experience it all before someone tears me apart for good.

BRAIN  
But what about all the work I've already accomplished? I don't want to see it waste away.

SCARECROW  
It won't. I promise. We'll always come back to the work. I cherish our education too much to lose it. But we can't let it dominate our life. We need to have fun too. Life should be about balance. We need to avoid the extremes on either side.

BRAIN  
Agreed.

HEART  
(_pounding out dents in the Tin Man's body_)  
How could they defile such a beautiful body? It will take forever to bring back the original shine. Don't these creatures have any feelings?

TIN MAN  
They were only doing their job.

HEART  
Just because you don't bring any compassion to your job, doesn't mean everyone is that way.

TIN MAN  
Emotions have no place where work is being done.

HEART  
That isn't true. Just because you are made of tin, that does not make you a robot. If you would have allowed me the chance to express myself, you would have never ended up like this.

TIN MAN  
How can you say such a thing?

HEART  
It's true. If you would have had someone in your life, you wouldn't have spent so long rusting in the middle of the woods. If someone cared about you, they would have rescued you before the next season's arrival. If you would have allowed yourself to love, you would have had someone to go home to every night. You wouldn't have worked for days on end in the pouring rain.

TIN MAN  
Mary...(_Tin Man starts to cry_) Why did I ever let her go?

HEART  
You let her go because you stopped caring. Keeping your mouth shut and doing your job was more important than a possible soul mate.

TIN MAN  
I know you despise me, but I need you back in my life. I've lived too long with this empty feeling in the pit of my soul.

HEART  
How could I ever hate you? That would entail hating myself, and I love myself deeply. Besides, I need you too.

TIN MAN  
What can I offer you in return?

HEART  
You can lend me your strength, your determination. I need your boundless energy. Together we can find Mary. Together, we can change this world.

COURAGE  
(_holds Lion's face in her hands_)  
Come on big guy. Buck up and stop crying. This is your moment. You can finally prove yourself to the one person who actually cares...you.

LION  
I was so pathetic when the flying monkeys attacked. They were so scary. I cowered like a small child. Dorothy was amazing the way she held her ground.

COURAGE  
You were afraid because you were ignoring me. I was right there to back you, but you continued to shun me. I'm not going to let you forget me again.

LION  
I'm worthless. My friends never let me forget that. Why did they pick on me so much?

COURAGE  
They weren't your friends. They were the weak ones. They were the ones who needed someone to pick on to make them feel better about themselves. You were their ego boost. And you know what, big guy, you are so much stronger than them because you never needed a false sense of security. Your strength comes from within.

LION  
I don't want to let Dorothy down again. I'm afraid if I try to be the hero, I'll fail.

COURAGE  
You won't fail. There is no way that I, that you, will allow it. We are a lion my friend. We are the most feared beast in the land.

LION  
I don't want to be feared.

COURAGE  
I know you care. That's what makes you special. But you still deserve respect. And before they will respect you, you need to respect yourself.

LION  
It's not that easy.

COURAGE  
Yes it is. Confidence breeds confidence. Let these guards see your true self and you'll never look back. You will never have to hide from the world again.

LION  
And you won't leave me this time?

COURAGE  
I've got your back. Now show them what you're made of.

Two guards appear stage right.

GUARD #1  
Hold it right there little girl.

GUARD #2  
You aren't going anywhere.

TOTO  
Dorothy, run. Get everyone out of here. Courage and I will hold them back.

COURAGE  
Come on big guy, it's show time.

DOROTHY  
Toto, get out of there. You'll get hurt.

TOTO  
Don't worry about me kid. Take care of yourself.

GUARD #1  
What a pathetic group. A stupid little dog, a weak girl and a lion who isn't worth the space he occupies.

Guard #1 pushes Toto aside and grabs Dorothy. Guard #2 picks up the lion and laughs in his face.

GUARD #2  
This will be so easy.

LION  
(_brushes aside the guard_)  
Roar!! Roar!!

COURAGE  
That's it, big guy.

LION  
Let her go, now! Or you'll have to deal with me.

GUARD #1  
Is that so?

LION  
Yes it is. Roar!! Now get out of here before I get really mad.

GUARD #2  
Is this some sort of act?

LION  
(_backs down the guard_)  
Please tell me you want the answer to that question.

GUARD #1  
I don't think he's bluffing.

GUARD #2  
What happened to him?

LION  
(_glances at Courage and smiles, then turns to guards_)  
Walk away. Just walk away.

The guards run off stage right. The Lion sighs as Dorothy rushes over to him and hugs him.

DOROTHY  
That was incredible. I'm so proud of you.

COURAGE  
Yes! What a rush. Great job big guy.

LION  
Thank you. I was so nervous at first. I didn't think they'd listen to me, but they did.

TOTO  
That bought us some time, but we still need to get out of here. Is everyone able to walk?

DOROTHY  
Lion, we need to help the Tin Man and the Scarecrow walk out of here before the guards return.

SCARECROW  
(_as Brain and Dorothy help him_)  
I only need a second to find my balance and I'll be fine.

TIN MAN  
(_as the Lion squirts oil on his knees_)  
These dents won't slow me down. Once my joints are oiled, I'll be fine. I'm just so happy everyone is safe.

DOROTHY  
Then let's go. The sooner we return to the Emerald City and announce that the wicked witch is dead, the sooner we'll have our rewards.

TOTO  
And the sooner we'll be back in Kansas.

Stage goes black.


	11. Chapter 11

**SCENE 4**

Lights come up on Emerald City. A pair of citizens are dancing from stage left to stage right, and cheering the death of the wicked witch. Toto, Brain, Heart and Courage follow the pair and stop mid-stage.

HEART  
That certainly was a grand parade. The colors were so vibrant. I've never known the Emerald city to embrace such a rainbow of colors.

TOTO  
It was certainly the best parade I've ever seen. Nothing can compare to how majestic everyone looked.

BRAIN  
The scarecrow looked so rugged, like he could take on anything the world threw his way.

HEART  
The blacksmiths worked extra hard on the Tin Man. After how he looked last week, I'd have sworn it wasn't him.

COURAGE  
Yeah, they all looked great. I just wish the hair stylist had let up a tad on the mane. I don't appreciate my lion looking like a wuss.

TOTO  
No one will remember how he looked. They will only remember the role he played in this epic event.

COURAGE  
That they will. And I will spend my days reminding everyone I meet of Dorothy's intelligence, her caring soul and her strength of character. Her size masks her strength.

TOTO  
The kid can certainly impress when asked.

BRAIN  
Are you and Dorothy planning on sticking around? There are more wonders in the land of Oz that we'd love to show you.

TOTO  
I believe the Wizard is planning on taking us home as soon as possible.

HEART  
Don't you have a few days to meet Mary?

TOTO  
Are you telling me you've found her already?

HEART  
Not exactly. We have a great lead and I'm optimistic it will pan out.

COURAGE  
You shouldn't delay any longer.

HEART  
Don't worry. Once the parade is over and we've said our good-byes we'll be on our way.

BRAIN  
Do you need any company?

HEART  
I'd never turn down a friend. What about you Courage? Care to join us?

COURAGE  
Sorry, buddy. We're heading back to the grasslands to pay a visit to some old friends.

TOTO  
What about your research, Brain?

BRAIN  
I'm presenting my results tomorrow at the University. If they like what I've done so far, the research department plans on hiring another researcher to keep my efforts going while I take a much needed break.

TOTO  
A better break than you took after graduation?

BRAIN  
Much better. Last time I was too focused. I didn't take the time I needed to really see Oz. There is so much to do, so much to explore.

COURAGE  
You'll have to say hi when you swing through the grasslands.

BRAIN  
I won't forget.

HEART  
I don't know what we're going to do once we find Mary?

TOTO  
Isn't that enough?

HEART  
Is it?

COURAGE  
Yeah, it should be. This is the woman you wouldn't stop talking about the entire journey.

HEART  
And I won't stop talking about her until the day I die. But I've spent so much time searching. I have to wonder if there will be an empty void once I've found her.

BRAIN  
There doesn't have to be a void. The anticipated end of a long journey often brings up thoughts of depression. But they are only temporary. Once you find Mary you won't even remember these feelings. You won't have time.

COURAGE  
You'll have everything you ever wanted. Your life will be full.

TOTO  
Unless you've discovered there is more you want out of life.

COURAGE  
Why would he want more? I don't want any more. I've helped defeat the Wicked Witch of the West. What more is there?

TOTO  
Are you so sure? Are you prepared to base the rest of your life off one victory over a witch?

COURAGE  
People have based their lives off less.

TOTO  
You don't seem like one of those people.

HEART  
The Tin Man will want to go back to work. Even with Mary in our life he will have this urge to do something. He can't help himself. And I don't want to return to the woods to chop trees. I've seen too much to squander our life with a mechanical pursuit. Perfection can still be monotonous.

TOTO  
Then you should suggest something else.

HEART  
But what should I suggest?

TOTO  
Anything. Anything that makes you happy. And don't worry about making a bad decision, because you can always change your mind.

BRAIN  
You can always travel with the Scarecrow and me until you figure out what to do.

HEART  
Thanks for the offer. I'll let you know once we've found Mary and my emotions aren't so mixed up.

COURAGE  
What's so bad about living your life as a hero? Adoration is wonderful.

BRAIN  
That would be such a waste. And here I thought fighting your entire life was a horrible concept.

COURAGE  
Hey, I can do whatever I want with my life.

TOTO  
I think that's the point. You can do whatever you want so don't stop doing something.

COURAGE  
I'm not stupid.

TOTO  
You are if you base the rest of your life off this one event. You'll always have this victory, this honor, but there is so much more you can do, so much more you can accomplish if you set goals for yourself.

COURAGE  
People will love me forever.

TOTO  
You've earned their respect, true. But it's what you do in the future that will hold their respect for the rest of your life.

COURAGE  
Yeah, okay. So what should I do?

TOTO  
You should lead. You should inspire those around you to make their lives better, to make the entire community better. You can bring out the best in people; give them what they need to change their own lives.

COURAGE  
That doesn't sound very easy.

TOTO  
It isn't. It's a good thing you have the strength to see it through.

COURAGE  
Thanks.

BRAIN  
We'll never forget you Toto.

TOTO  
I'll never forget you guys either.

DOROTHY  
(_off-stage_)  
Oh no, we can't leave yet. Toto's not here. We can't leave Toto. Toto? Where are you Toto?

TOTO  
Oh no, I'm late. Good-bye everyone. I hope to see you again.

BRAIN, HEART AND COURAGE  
(_as they leave stage left_)  
Bye.

Toto runs in place as townsfolk enter stage right and block his path.

TOTO  
Hey, watch it. Will you move it? I need to get through.

Toto exits stage right and the lights dim on the stage, but they don't go out.

DOROTHY  
(_off-stage_)  
Oh, there you are Toto. I couldn't leave without you.

TOTO  
(_off-stage_)  
There goes the balloon.

DOROTHY  
(_off-stage_)  
Don't leave us here.

WIZARD  
(_off-stage_)  
Sorry, nothing I can do. I hope you make it home some day.

DOROTHY  
(_off-stage_)  
Oh, Toto, how are we ever going to get home?

GLENDA  
(_off-stage_)  
Why Dorothy, you had the way home all along. The slippers you wear...

Stage goes black.


	12. Chapter 12

**SCENE 5**

Stage is black. There is a dark form seen in the center of the stage. Spotlight comes up stage left. Toto steps into the light with a smile on his face.

TOTO  
Oh man, now this is a welcome sight. I never thought I'd be happy to return to this farm. After that ordeal in Oz, it's so nice to be in a place I recognize, a place that is so familiar. The barn, oh that wonderful barn. I can't wait to lose myself in the patch of shade on that soft circle of grass. Oh man, will it be good to relax. But I can't sleep too long. I need to be awake when the sun crashes to the ground and the sweet, cool sounds of a blues guitar gush from the radio.

Light comes up on the rest of the stage. The dark form in the middle is Pig who is stretching.

PIG  
Perfect. The mud today is just perfect. It isn't too wet and it isn't too cold. I just love when the mud is like this. It makes the rest of the day bearable. It makes it easy to appreciate the beauty of this farm.

Pig does a double take when he spots Toto. Toto approaches as Pig squints to see him.

PIG  
Well, I'll be. It's great to see you, Toto. Everyone thought you were dead.

TOTO  
You look so relaxed Pig. I barely recognized you. (_pauses_) Wait, did you just say you were glad to see me?

PIG  
(_clears throat_)  
No, no. Of course not. Everyone else was worried, but not me. I didn't care at all. It was a pleasure not having to listen to all your yapping.

TOTO  
Sorry, Pig, you can't fool me any more. I know you have feelings beneath that gruff exterior. I've discovered that no one can live in this world without displaying some heart along the way.

PIG  
That is not true. Just leave me alone.

TOTO  
Fine, I'll let you be for now, but I'll be watching you. I'll prove to you yet that you have a soft side.

PIG  
Not going to happen. No way. Never.

Chicken comes running in from stage right.

CHICKEN  
Wolf, wolf, get away. Oh Pig, I'll save you this day. I'm sure I'll find a way.

TOTO  
Whoa, Chicken. Settle down. It's me, Toto.

CHICKEN  
Oh, Toto, I'm so glad it's you. Now you can scare the wolf, true, true. Two wolves in one week would have turned me blue.

TOTO  
Two wolves? That means you faced a wolf while I was gone. But you're still here. Did you scare him away?

CHICKEN  
Without you around we were all so scared. The wolf came out of no where, caught us unprepared. To save us all, I flew out of the shadows and caught the wolf unaware. He ran away like a wimp, a chicken scaring a wolf is a sight so rare.

TOTO  
That is incredible. I'm so proud of you. It takes a lot of courage to face your fears and send them scurrying away into the night.

The Field Mouse shuffles in from stage left.

CHICKEN  
(_calmly_)  
Thank you.

FIELD MOUSE  
Hey, is that Toto I hear?

TOTO  
Mouse. It's great to see you again. Sounds like you had a wild week while I was gone.

FIELD MOUSE  
Did I?

TOTO  
Well, maybe not you in particular, but the whole crew. Chicken scared off a wolf. And Pig had a chance to get in touch with his feelings without me around to bother him.

PIG  
Did not.

FIELD MOUSE  
Cool. I must have missed it all. I spent the week with my relatives who live in the house. They were very confused when half of the house vanished suddenly. I explained that it was that... that... What was that thing called?

TOTO  
The tornado?

FIELD MOUSE  
Yeah, the tornado. I told them the tornado picked up part of the house. I mean, those high winds can tear through almost anything.

TOTO  
Wow. I can't believe you know so much about wind.

FIELD MOUSE  
Of course I do. If you don't pay attention to the wind out in the open field, you could find yourself tumbling every which way. It's not a pretty sight.

TOTO  
I've known you for years and I never realized you had a brain.

FIELD MOUSE  
We all have a brain, even if we forget to use it now and again.

PIG  
So where were you all this time, Toto?

CHICKEN  
Yes, where did you go? Did it have anything to do with the tornado?

FIELD MOUSE  
Were you in the house when that big wind hit?

TOTO  
Well, let me tell you. Dorothy and I had a wonderful adventure in a place called Oz. It was so confusing when the tornado picked up part of the house.

Toto's dialogue fades out as the lights dim. The lights come up moments later and everyone has settled into a more relaxed position.

TOTO  
And when Dorothy clicked her heels we found ourselves back on the farm.

PIG  
That's nonsense.

TOTO  
It's all true, every last word.

CHICKEN  
It all sounds so scary. If I went I'd be very wary. But I wouldn't be so merry.

FIELD MOUSE  
The castle sounded cool. All those rooms. Man, that would be awesome.

TOTO  
Maybe you can join me if I ever go back.

FIELD MOUSE  
Cool.

PIG  
It wasn't real. None of it was real. And there is no way you'll go back.

TOTO  
Not right away of course.

PIG  
What else do you have to do?

TOTO  
Enjoy this farm for one. It was a great experience, but I'm glad to be home. I really missed this farm. I just want to enjoy this familiar environment for a while. But make no mistake about it, the wanderlust will return and I'll drag Dorothy with me to St. Louis or New Orleans to show her the wonders of this world. But once we've done that I'm hoping we have a chance to return to Oz for another mind opening adventure.

**THE END**


End file.
